Lost in Translation, Duplex, Something's gotta give
I saw these three movies in the last 48 hours or so.
Duplex: it's dumb, dark, and the end cheats.
Something's gotta give: If I were Diane Keaton, I would have taken Keanu. If I were Jack Nicholson, I wouldn't have dumped the daughter. However, the concept is cool, and Diane looks damn good.
Now, the sight of Jack Nicholson's butt was completely unnecessary. Now I am so self-conscious I am going to buy a robe. I never imagined anyone could look so bad, and I need to make a habit of hiding my body before it all falls down.
Lost in translation: I want to marry Scarlet Johansson's character. I doubt Mrs. Johansson herself would be half as much fun, although she is obviously just as pretty.
On the other hand, I want to say, make it Suntory time. Now, to the right, with intensity. More Roger Moore!
If you have not seen it, the above paragraph makes no sense. If you did: I want to be him, too. Only younger. And married to her.
I quite liked the movie, even if my date didn't (she says, and she is right, nothing happens in it). Had the movie had a plot, it would be amazing. What is there is good enough it even survives the plotlessness as good.
I suggest Jerry Bruckheimer hires Sofia Coppola. Although he has the worst imaginable taste in directors (the wrong Scott brother! Michael Bay!), he requires all his movies to have a beginning, a middle, and an ending, and that the ending be different from the beginning.
So, if Jerry wants to become a Weinstein-like fellow, and he keeps those requirements, eases up on the explosions, and forces Sofia to hire a writer (if at all possible, the one who wrote "Action!" with Jay Mohr?), man, that is going to be an actual movie, instead of just 2 hours of film.
Oh, you may say, Roberto is crazy! Sofia Coppola is artsy! Bruckheimer is crass!. There is such a thing as too artsy, and definitely, there is such a thing as too crass, but, surprise! There is such a thing as not artsy enough, and, worse of all, not crass enough.
Nowadays, movies fall either on one side or the other, except for some films, very few, vanishingly few. I propose exogamy, because the inbreeding of the artsy and the crass tribes is killing them.
Coming soon (not really): why Kiarostami should direct a Tarantino script.
I adhere to the Siskel test: if the movie is not more interesting than having dinner with the actors, it has a problem.
Now imagine yourself having dinner with Bill Murray and Scarlet Johansson. What would you prefer? ( or even dinner with Scarlet Johansson alone ;-)
Just like computer applications need not be like real-life objects, and usually suck if they try to, movies need not be like life.
Life is like life, and we already have one of those.